I am always working on different ways to connect and build solid relationships with my children. This is important not only for my biological children but also my foster children. I want all my kids to have the tools to build positive relationships and connect with people appropriately. Importantly, I want my children to trust that I am going to keep them safe.
I work hard to make sure my life runs smoothly and that i am prepared to deal with SOME of the fun things that comes with being a parent. So I want to share my list of tools that has helped me build trusting relationships with my kids which has also helped them grow!
Here are the top 5 tools you can add to your parental tool box to assist you in building a trusting relationship with your children:
- Structure:Structure is good for all ages. It does not have to be rigid, just a way for parents and children to have organization.
Example: Telling your children what their expectations are is a great way to build structure
- Routine: This really helps your children trust you! A simple routine makes them know that you are going to do what you say! A great way is to write it down, don’t forget to get your children’s input, then place it in their room. Children love to know what is happening and what is expected of them.
Example: make up a morning routine, night routine or even an activity routine. This is great for children ages 5 to 12 years old. Teenagers work better using their phones and or agendas of what routines they have in the home, school and appointments. What works in my home is using a desk calendar that has all house appointments or todo’s on it.
- Talk:Talking to your children daily, even just about simple things, helps them know the door is open for them to speak to you as well. Tell your children about your day at work or even things that you are interested in. They love to hear this and will want to talk you about what is going on in their lives as well.
Example: It’s also great to let them know about a conflict and how you worked your way out of it.
- Setting Boundaries: This is important for children to know how to keep themselves safe. Setting boundaries help your children learn how to use their moral compass. When boundaries are set, they are able to understand right and wrong.
Example: Setting a curfew for teenagers is a great way to set boundaries of safety. For younger children, one way is to set boundaries during their play time/area.
- Listen: Active listening is a great way to build trust with your children. When you actively listen to your children talk about the little things, they will begin to trust you with the bigger things. What children usually do is test you with stories about their friends to see how you handle that.
Example: When your children talk to you, even about something simple, bring it back up in conversations hours later or even the next day. This shows them you are actively listening.
Parents… if you haven’t already, try these tools to strengthen your relationship with the ones you love the most! When parents are equipped with the tools to help their children grow, they will be successful!